HE’LL HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO HATE EVERYTHING ELSE
wow it SURE WOULD SUCK if someone started MAKING OUT WITH ME (it’s reverse psychology) (come make out with me)
what the hell are you
TSA: are u carrying any firearms or explosives?
Me: *points to crotch* u mean this bomb pussy?
TSA: why do u always do this?
Romeo and Juliet is not a love story it’s a cautionary tale about how everything would be better if you would just chill the fuck out
‘Everything would be better if you would just chill the fuck out’ - every play ever written by Shakespeare
“Yo, Hamlet. Chill the fuck out about your dad.”
“Yo, King Lear. Chill the fuck out about your daughters.”
“Yo, Othello. Chill the fuck out about your wife.”
if we are talking in person and i accidentally spit dont even call out i saw it and im dead inside
my little sister is addicted to that online game Club Penguin so today i made an account and ive been following her around in the penguin world all day and beating her in every game she tries to play and just standing in her igloo looking at the wall she doesnt know its me and she just let out a defeated scream from the other room i love the internet
Someday I wish to reach this level of smartassery
MEMO: The space bar is important.
REALLY YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE
When aliens in galaxies 70 million light years away look through a telescope at Earth, they see dinosaurs.
Is that why there has been no alien contact? Because as far as aliens are concerned, there is legitimately no intelligent life on earth?